Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Survivor: Worlds Apart - LEGO - Rodney Time

After a Tribal Council that saw Will continue his tirade of disrespectfulness, Shirin is reflecting on how awful the experience was.  Dan, someone who had previously wished for someone to just slap that woman already, is "really sorry about what happened last night at Tribal."  PUKEPUKEPUKE

Shirin asks Dan which part he's sorry about, & turns out he wasn't really paying attention.

Dan then has a confessional, and I CAN'T EVEN.  "Apparently there's violence in her history.  If that's the case, I feel very bad for her."

I wish the Reward Challenge had been trying to figure out the most offensive part of that sentence.  The "if that's the case", or the "however, that being said"?  Dan continues: "...Shirin is a drama queen, she is a two-faced liar, she looooovvvves to play the victim."  YOU AREN'T PLAYING THE VICTIM IF YOU'RE THE ACTUAL VICTIM, ASSHAT.

The Reward Challenge is actually a team race to get across a sandbox using only barrels & planks.  Winning team gets burgers (with cheese, Probst adds, making them, you know, cheeseburgers) & pie.  Various strategies are used.

Tyler, Dan, Will, & Carolyn win Reward - because if there's one person we all want to watch shove a burger in his face, it's Dan.  Dan says he feels bad that Rodney hasn't won a reward yet.  Probst points out that he can give up his spot to Rodney if he'd like.  Dan is silent, & most likely cursing Probst in his head, & Rodney shakes his head & says "I'll get mine.  It's all good."  And in that moment, I want Rodney to have all the cheeseburgers.  All of them.

Back at camp, Rodney performs a soliloquy I may use at my next audition.  "I haven't been able to leave this beach once.  I didn't go on one fucking reward.  I'm fucking pissed.  It's miserable, I'm not eating enough food, I'm shaking...I got an itchy beard, I haven't showered, my nails are nasty...did I say I'm miserable? Everybody's had a break, but I've just been locked in my cell 24-7, not being able to burst out & have some fun.  I need some Rodney time.  For my sanity, I need to get out of here."  Not to mention, he misses Joaquin something fierce.


At the Reward, Tyler focuses his energy on keeping Dan thinking about Mike.  "All he can see is top 6."

The Immunity Challenge involves holding a handle with a rope attached to a bag weighing 25% of their body weight (as of Day 1).  Up for grabs are Immunity necklaces - one for the last man and woman standing.  Carolyn wins the Immunity for the women, and it's down to Rodney and Mike for the men's.
 Dan is super creepy & whispers in Rodney's ear.

Rodney can't hold on any longer - or perhaps, he let go just to shut Dan up.  Mike wins Immunity.  Shirin is bummed she didn't win Immunity, too.

The rest of the tribe is thankful Shirin didn't win, because even though they can't get Mike out, it's an easy vote for them.  Shirin goes on a Here's-Why-You're-Stupid Tour of Merica, pointing out that she's not a threat, & they could be voting out Tyler.  Both Dan & Sierra say they agree with her, but their alliance is voting for her, so...

CBS finally shows Tyler doing something interesting, & that's stealing Dan's bag to root through it & find out what the auction's advantage is.  He discovers it's an extra vote, and shares that info with Carolyn.

Mike tries to convince Dan to vote Tyler, & is remorseful that his antics at the auction have affected a once tight alliance.  But the fact that Dan won't give him a second chance is making Mike wary of Dan.  "It's sad that you put your faith & trust in someone, & they turn out being a lot different than you thought they were."

At Tribal Council, the jury enters & everyone I'm watching with is distracted.  Everyone.
Shirin's past is brought up by Probst, & Dan has something to contribute & I CAN'T EVEN.  I CAN'T EVEN EVEN WITH THE NUMBER OF TIMES I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO EVEN THIS SEASON.

Even Probst is like Shut the fuck up, bro, that is not even in the same universe as Shirin's situation.

Mike pulls out his Hidden Immunity Idol & declares that he's going to play it for Shirin.  Shirin is going to vote for Tyler, & he's going to vote for either Will, Rodney, Sierra or Dan.  So they can vote for Tyler with Shirin, or it might be them going home.  Shirin geeks out over both the play & the idol & it's adorable.  Even more adorable is how she skips off to vote while everyone else is still slack-jawed.
When it comes time to play the idol, Mike puts it back in his pocket with an "I love you, girl."  His bluff was enough to send a few extra votes Dan's way, letting Dan know he's on the bottom.  The bluff wasn't enough to save Shirin, who geeks out at having her torch snuffed.  <3 <3 <3

Everyone claps when Shirin is voted out, & it's gross.

Shirin leaves the Tribal Council area immediately, & with much joy.


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